Book Summary "12 Choices"

12 Choices by David Cottrel

 taken from amazon.com

Publisher: CornerStone Leadership Institute
Date of Publication: 2005
ISBN : 0 9762528 1 3
No. of Pages: 134 pages

About the Author     David Cottrell David Cottrell is a premier authority on leadership and an internationally known speaker, author and business executive. His 25-plus years of professional experience are reflected in more than 20 highly acclaimed books, in his programs and presentations, and in the success of his company, CornerStone Leadership Institute. David knows leadership firsthand. With a degree in Marketing from the University of Arkansas, he joined Xerox Corporation, where he became at age 24 one of the youngest sales managers in the company’s history. After a decade with Xerox, David spent ten years with FedEx in various leadership roles. He was named to the President’s Club each year he was with the organization and is, to this day, the only person to have been selected District Manager of the Year for two consecutive years. David’s leadership achievements were the result of his focus on training and development and his belief that he could expect the best from people by investing in them. Visit this site to know more about the works of David Cottrell: Http://www.cornerstoneleadership.c om

Wisdom in a Nutshell

Most people view success as being at the right place at the right time, or mainly because of luck, or something that has been passed on to them by their ancestors.  But in reality, though these may help, success is ultimately the consequence of making the right choices.

The choices that people make can only lead them in either of two directions: closer to or further from the success they are trying to achieve.  Success, in whatever form, is dependent on the good choices that one makes, and the avoidance of the bad choices.

There is not much difference between a highly successful individual and a not-so-successful person, except for the choices they decide to makeor not make.  With these choices, one takes control of his or her success.

Every single moment of a person's life requires him or her to make a choice, from the simplest to the most complicated.  And for one to make good choices, it requires his or her utmost attention, until making good choices becomes a subconscious habit.

Fortunately, it is never too late to learn or start making good choices.

Introduction

What differentiates successful people from the rest?

It is not being at the right place at the right time, or being born in the right family, or having everything come their way.  Successful people are willing to make choices that other people would rather not make.

The twelve different choices presented by David Cottrell can be grouped into three major choices: (1) Character choices; (2) Action choices; and (3) Investment choices.

Character choices are those that help make a successful person but at the same time, these are the choices that are not seen by other people. These choices are known only by the person making the decisions.  Under this category fall the No-Victim Choice, the Commitment Choice, the Values Choice, and the Integrity Choice.

Action choices are those that help a person actually move in the direction of success, which include the To-Do Something Choice, the Persistence Choice, the Attitude Choice, and the Adversity Choice.

Investment choices are those choices that help one attain the rewards of their success.  Included here are the Relationship Choice, the Criticism Choice, the Reality Choice, and the Legacy Choice.

It is important to understand each of the twelve choices individually and collectively, in order to fully comprehend how all these lead to one's success.

Chapter 1: The No-Victim Choice

The unexpected almost always happens.  It is just a matter of knowing how to deal with such occurrences.  Whatever happens to an individual, it is much more important to learn how to react in certain situations.

Success is not a one-time deal.  It is an ongoing process, and most definitely includes ups and downs.

Everyone will fall into the victim trap.  It is a natural and almost instinctive reaction.  But the choice is still up to the person, whether one will let him or herself become a victim, or if he or she will rise up.

Once the choice to positively and proactively deal with the unexpected has been made, then it is important for one to keep on moving forward, one step in front of the other.

Not everything that happens is a person's doing.  Certain situations may be caused by external factors, and are mostly beyond a person's control.  What is in one's hands is the way he or she will react to the situation.

The unexpected almost always happens.  It is just a matter of knowing how to deal with such occurrences.

There are three things that one can do in order to make the no-victim choice:

! Expect the unexpected.

! Look for alternatives.

! Spend time and energy looking for solutions, not excuses.

Chapter 2: The Commitment Choice

Staying committed to a decision one has made requires passion, because with a passionate commitment to achieve something or reach a certain goal, one will go at great lengths.

In order to make more progress, it helps to surround one's self with people who choose to be passionately committed, as individuals have a tendency to feed off similar people.

Certain, or rather most, people refuse to believe that one person can make a difference; that as an individual, a person has enough power in his or her hands.  More than anything, it is important for one to give what was previously thought as impossible a shot, because one will never really know until one has tried.

First, one makes the choice to commit him or herself.  Then, one invests his or her time, energy, money, and everything else needed to achieve his or her goal.  The keyword here is sacrifice.

Individuals who are passionately committed do what they say they'll do; they walk the talk.  They see themselves achieve their goals, because not only do they just sit down and make plans; but they actually go about their plans.  They do not make grand promises and deliver things half-baked.  Though failure is not in their vocabulary, they are not hard on themselves when they fall short; rather, they use these as stepping stones to make themselves better individuals that make better choices.

There are three things that one can do in order to make the commitment choice:

!  Stay the course.

!  Surround one's self with people who are equally passionately committed. !  Clarify one's commitment.

Chapter 3: The Values Choice

Everyone has enemies.  And the more successful a person becomes, the more enemies he or she will have.  And these enemies are in a person's life for whatever reason imaginable.

As Abraham Lincoln once said, "You can please all of the people some of the time and some of the people all of the time, but you cannot please all the people all the time."

When enemies come into a person's life, the more logical and more productive choice is to welcome them, because they are actually offshoots of success.  This does not mean that one should create enemies, because they will surface on their own.  And because you cannot please everyone, then it is important to choose which individuals you are and are not going to please.

In order to successfully deal with one's enemies, it is first important to identify these people and understand why they have become enemies in the first place.

The old adage, "Birds of the same feather, flock together" and "Tell me who your friends are and I'll tell you who you are," are both true in more ways than one.  It is important to choose carefully the people in one's life because they can affect a person immensely, whether positively or negatively.

Just as one should give much thought in choosing his or her friends, it is just as important to choose one's enemies carefully, because just like the former, a bad choice can be devastatingly crucial to one's success or failure.

Everyone has enemies.  And the more successful a person becomes, the more enemies he or she will have.

There are three things that one can do in order to make the values choice:

!  Surround one's self with people of similar values.

!  Take the time to identify one's enemies and understand why.

!  Understand that one cannot please all the people all the time.

Chapter 4: The Integrity Choice

Honesty, integrity, and trust are three characteristics connected with one another.  People of integrity gain other people's trust.

Choosing to be a person of integrity has got to be one of the most difficult choices a person will ever have to make.  More than just doing the right thing, doing the right thing when no one else is watching is much more challenging.

Integrity is not something that one can practice in moderation, or only with a select group of people.  It is something that an individual either possess or does not have at all.  More than anything else, the presenceor in some cases, lack ofintegrity reveals an individual's true character.

The integrity choice is one of the most important choices a person will ever have to make in his or her lifetime, as this will determine each and every action, including the roads to his or her long-term successes.

One's integrity will be put to the test in more ways than one.  And it is important to be able to pass this test with flying colors, as people will never forget such mistakes.

In order to successfully deal with one's enemies, it is first important to identify these people and understand why they have become enemies in the first place.

There are three things that one can do in order to make the integrity choice: (1) Guard one's integrity as though it is the most important possession; (2) Realize that there are no "time outs" with one's integrity; and (3) Do the right thing.

Chapter 5: The Do-Something Choice

Deciding to do something and actually doing that something are two completely different things.  One should never remain contented with the status quo.  Even if the way things are have been good, there is always room for improvement.  Life will always throw things in people's directions, but it is important to know how to shake it all off and do something.

There is actually a direct relationship between the number and quality of books a person reads and the level of success he or she attains, because aside from other factors, books are what shape an individuals philosophies and values.  The knowledge that one can learn from other people is endless.  It is through this unending learning process that one will achieve more success.

There are three different kinds of people: (1) those who make something happen; (2) those who watch things happen; and (3) those who wonder what happened.  Obviously, successful people belong in the first category.  These people don't allow life to just happen in front of them; they take control.

Regardless of one's status, it is important to hone an individual's communication skills, because one can never be truly successful if he or she cannot get his or her point across.  Whether it's speaking in front of a group, or writing a simple e-mail, or effective listening, communication is a key factor to success.

Fear is something that we learn throughout the years.  Notice how younger individuals, particularly children, seem to not have the notion of fear in their minds.  With this lack of such a concept, they are able to do more things, or even just think of being able to do them.  What is important is going past one's fears and keep on moving forward.  Mistakes and failures will always be part of life; no one is spared.  People who are on the road to success will go past these roadblocks and keep on moving on, until they have reached their goal.

Just as a person has made the choice to become successful, it is actually just as important to look successful.  Individuals who have made it to the top are those that are worthy of much admiration and respect. 

Now is the right time to begin on the road to success.  It is never too late.

There are three things that one can do in order to make the do-something choice: !  Spend more time on action and less on thinking.

!  Study successful people.

!  Keep learning. Read every day.

Chapter 6: The Persistence Choice

Success never happens overnight.  The road is long, winding.  The only way to be able to go down this path is to persevere.

There are individuals who have great talents and abilities, only for others to see them go to waste.  And there are those who seem like average people, and yet these individuals surpass the former group.  The difference between these two is their choice to persist, to stick it out until the end.

Failure will always be part of life.  It is almost often the precedent to success.  The road to success will always have roadblocks and speed bumps. 

Successful people are those who persevere despite these, overcoming these obstacles, and not stopping until they reach their goal.

What is more important is learning from past mistakes and failures in order to make more informed and better choices.  What separates successful individuals from the others is their ability to turn failures into successes.

There are three things that one can do in order to make the persistence choice:

! When one reaches roadblocks, don't give up.

! Failure is a learning tool.

! If one wants to win, one has to stay in the game.

Chapter 7: The Attitude Choice

A person's attitude affects those around him or her, both in a positive and negative way, and every aspect of his or her life.  It is not something that is just a reaction, an automatic response to the outside world.

Attitude is something that is internally controlled by the person.  One can never completely control what is going on around him or her, but he or she can choose how he or she will react in certain situations.

A positive attitude aids a person who is on the road to success, because there is not one successful person who has been described as negative or cynical.  This positivism is actually a more important factor to success than the way a person looks or how much a person has achieved.

Just like integrity, enthusiasm is not something that one can just switch on or off; rather, it is a way of life.  It is important to learn how to get rid of negativism in one's life in order to achieve the success one is striving for.

The good thing is that optimism is something that can be learned and developed.  These people, more often than not, always see opportunities in whatever situation, and make the most out of them.  This optimism will give one the strength that one will need in order to keep on moving toward his or her goals.

Honesty, integrity, and trust are three characteristics connected with one another.  People of integrity gain other  people's trust.

There are three things that one can do in order to make the attitude choice:

·           Consciously choose one's attitude.

·           Keep one's eyes open to new opportunities. ·      Be easy on one's self and on everyone else.

Chapter 8: The Adversity Choice

In each successful person's life, being able to overcome any kind of adversity has been a crucial turning point.  Just like everyone else, these people experience problems that are, more often than not, beyond their control.  However, regardless of the situation, what defines successful people is their ability to go past these adversities, attacking the problem itself and moving forward. 

When a person is faced with an adversity, his or her

true character comes out.  Once a person is faced with this kind of situation, there are only two choices: to either become immobilized and stuck in self-pity, or overcome the adversity and move on with life.  Adversity can either grind a person down or polish him or her up, depending on how he or she deals with the circumstance.

According to Chris Novak, the author of Conquering Adversity, they are six steps to follow in order to successfully overcome any kind of adversity that a person may encounter in his or her life:

!  Acknowledge what is and what is not lost. ! Pull one's self up and avoid the "why" trap, moving forward with positive expectations.

!  Allow other people to help.

!  Keep on moving forward.

!  Do not attempt to face adversity alone. ! Celebrate with positive energy, as it will nourish one's spirit and refresh one's attitude, giving a person enough strength to overcome his or her own obstacles.

There are three things that one can do in order to make the adversity choice:

!  Realize that adversity is short-term.

! Don't panic, freeze, and stop because the adversity presented is perceived to be insurmountable.

! Don't waste energy on looking for someone to blame.

Chapter 9: The Relationship Choice

Relationships, both personal and professional, add color to a person's life, making it important to not only build new relationships but to develop existing ones.  However, there is no such thing as a universal criteria for relationships, as each individual has different needs and wants.

Relationships, which are an important requirement for success, just don't happen.  Healthy relationships take time and energy from both individuals, with a similar goal of making their relationship grow over time.

The most important basis for a healthy relationship is trust between both individuals.  Other than that, it is important that both people have open

communication lines, are interested in how the other person feels, know that a relationship is more than what is in it for them, and that the other person may bring some negative excess baggage from previous relationships.

There are five helpful steps in order to cement one's relationships:

!  One's relationships reflect the relationship one has with his or herself.

!  Everyone wants to know that they are cared about.

! Despite busy schedules, it is important to always make time to make contact. !  Conflicts will occur so it is important that both parties are willing to compromise. !  Practice forgiveness when the relationship is tested.

There are always opportunities wherein new relationships can be developed.  They are key interactions in one's life and crucial to one's success.

There are three things that one can do in order to make the relationship choice:

! Be willing to focus on building positive relationships. !   Become a mentor for others.

!  Don't travel with friends that desert at the first sign of danger.

Chapter 10: The Criticism Choice

Just as an individual gains more enemies as he or she becomes more successful, the same holds true with criticism.  Everyone has critics, because there will always be someone who will disagree with how a person looks, talks, or behaves.  In order to become a successful individual, it is important to learn how to deal with these critics and their criticisms.

There are actually critics and criticisms that can help an individual advance; but there are those who obviously just want to pull a person down.  Find out which ones can help and which ones are just wastes of time.

However, no matter what, do not overreact to

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criticism.  Everyone needs criticism, because it is actually a form of feedback.  It can actually be viewed as a learning tool because it will teach us some of the more difficult lessons in life.  Pay attention to these criticisms and listen intently in order to really understand what the person is trying to convey.

Avoid being psychosclerotic, thinking that one's own idea is the best and the only plan that will work.  It is important to keep one's mind open to other people's suggestions.

Criticism, whether constructive or otherwise, can either be a hindrance or a help.  But more often than not, criticism helps a person grow, as long as the individual welcomes the criticism and refuses to be negatively affected by such feedback.

There are three things that one can do in order to make the criticism choice:

!  Be aware that criticism comes with success. !  Accept constructive criticism as a gift.

!  Acknowledge that criticism is a learning tool.

Chapter 11: The Reality Choice

When individuals are forced to face reality, more often than not, it is not something that they are willing to accept.  That is why the truth hurts, because reality is the truth.  And it can really sting when people are not ready to accept things as they really are.

However, discovering and facing reality is an extremely important factor to one's success.  Before one can determine where he or she wants to go, one must first and foremost find out where he or she is at the moment.

Reality also helps one figure out how to get to where he or she is going as well, identifying a person's own limits.  More often than not, reality means change-whether in a person's plans or a change in direction or approach.

Coming face to face with reality does not necessarily mean abandonment of one's dreams.  On the contrary, it helps a person identify the best way to go about things, helping a person learn more about him or herself.

There are three things that one can do in order to make the reality choice:

!  A key element of success is discovering and facing reality.

! Look for truth in every situation, every relationship, every crisis, and every success. ! Understand that choosing reality may not always be the easiest path.

Just as a person has made the choice to become successful, it is actually just as important to look successful.

Chapter 12: The Legacy Choice

More than anything, the choice of legacy is a necessary decision that has to be made in order to achieve success.  If people have not chosen this, then individuals at present would not have any sort of role models nor examples.  People would then be learning things on their own, through their own experience, without anyone else to guide them.

Successful individuals will choose to leave behind a legacy that will be passed on from generation to generation; something that will live on even after they have long been gone.  Leaving something behind is an unselfish act, helping other people achieve their success in the best way possible, without expecting anything in return.

There is no such thing as not knowing what to give, because every individual can help in his or her own simple way.  Time and wisdom are the two things that one will need in order to leave a legacy.

Giving should always come from the heart, regardless of what a person is sharing, because this kind of unselfish act is repaid tremendously without our asking for it.
Mentoring other people, especially those that seem to be in a similar situation as one has experienced before, will help other people move forward and avoid certain roadblocks.
Legacies are left by choice, because no one is required to do so.
There are three things that one can do in order to make the legacy choice:

1. Be willing to share one's knowledge and mentor those looking for the pathway to success.
2. The greatest gift one can give is knowledge and experiences. 
3. Begin one's legacy where one is at present

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